Random as sayings!

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it
isn't.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.